this week has been a swirl of anger, anxiety, paranoia and self-loathing with some occasional mania thrown in for good measure. i feel like everyone's talking about me behind my back. this is what happens when i get depressed.
it's been difficult getting out of bed the last few mornings. i think a nervous breakdown would be a blessing, not only for the obvious emotional purge, but also to free me of the responsibility. i'm not looking for pity, just the reset button.
you make a recording, then play it back. you take notice of what you like about it and what you don't like. the tough part is deciding whether or not to do another take. you have to make some concessions, since nothing will ever be exactly perfect. but you also don't want to feel like you've compromised yourself. you can decide to be satisfied with what you've done, accepting some minor flaws. or you can take a chance on making it better, while running the risk of permanently deleting your best possible efforts.
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