cellar door

the thing i like best about this medium for journaling is that i don't feel the need to write something very deep. for instance, this is my first entry in several weeks. in that time, i've had some ups & downs, ranted incessantly about certain people, bitched & moaned, etc. i've seen some good movies, too - Good Night & Good Luck, Capote - but the only thing that's on my mind right now is this:

www.eathufu.com
it's Hufu! the Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

you may have heard of it if you watched the Daily Show last week. i must say, i'm utterly mesmerized. as a vegan who used to love a good steak, i'm always game for a new & innovative mock-meat. also, i recently read a book called Stiff (premise: dead bodies are fun!) which had a chapter on medicinal cannibalism. so at first glance, i thought Hufu might be the perfect blend of two of my more unusual interests. a cruelty-free diet and a morbid fascination with alfred packer - two great tastes that taste great together!

the first questions that come to mind are:
1. is it vegan?
2. how do they know their product tastes like human flesh?

both questions are addressed in their FAQs.

1. yes
2. "The taste and texture of HufuTM are the result of painstaking research and extensive testing in our kitchens. We are supremely confident that our food products would satisfy the tastes of even the most demanding cannibal."

while i appreciate the tongue-in-cheek nature of the site, i personally find the answer to question #2 to be rather vague & unsatisfying. i'm thinking one of two things has happened here. either they've just guessed about the taste & they're relying entirely on the power of suggestion. or, their "research" has enabled them to make a soy product that is structurally similar to human skin & muscle tissue, with the assumption that the taste would naturally follow. the convenient part of this is, who would argue? imagine the following exchange:

"i demand my money back. this product tastes nothing like human flesh."
"really? how do you know?"
"um, er..."

you can see where i'm going with this.

since very few people could really attest to the accuracy of Hufu's claims, an important third question must be addressed:
3. will i try it?

answer: probably.
if i do, i'll be sure to recount my experiences here. god bless the internet.