my findings, based on rigorous scientific study of megan (because what's true for me must be universally true):
as soon as you are too fat and tired to do anything around the house, that's when the nesting urges will kick in. don't be surprised if you find yourself awake at midnight washing baby linens because you know you won't sleep otherwise.
a person's energy level is inversely proportional to their dog's. the less mobile you are, the more your dog will want to play. (this is applicable to pregnancy and non-pregnancy fatigue.)
when people tell you that your dreams will get really vivid when you're pregnant, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll be crazy and interesting. sometimes they're just really vivid. you will dream up conversations with friends and convince yourself that these conversations actually took place. but hang in there and towards the end you'll have a couple of disturbing yet funny dreams about hiding from zombie children and breastfeeding your cat.
sleeping with a pillow between the legs may relieve back pain, but if you have the audacity to stretch, you will be awakened by alarmingly painful muscle spasms in your calves. these are laughingly referred to as "cramps".
bananas don't do shit for leg cramps. i don't know who started this rumor but they're mean for making me believe there was an easy solution.
2 comments:
i think i spread the banana rumor your way--i made the erroneous assumption that because i ate bananas and didn't have really bad leg cramps that the 2 things were causally related. DOH!!
i also like the part about breastfeeding your cat. that would be insanely unpleasant.
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