some are born with boobs, some achieve boobs and others have boobs thrust upon them.
wait, that didn't come out right. let me start over.
i was not born with boobs. and yes, i realize that no one is. what i mean is that i am not naturally well-endowed. while my mom at my age was tiny with a sizable chest, i was always just tiny. i don't remember ever being terribly upset about this. it's had its advantages. for instance, i have never once had to wonder if some guy liked me for me or my body. but now i have had boobs thrust upon me and so here i am, a few months shy of 30, learning to deal with things that most women learn in their early teens.
until yesterday, i had never purchased a bra with underwire. i brought it home and showed it to steve with all the enthusiasm and befuddlement of a 13-year-old girl. "look, sweetie! a real, grown-up bra!"
when i first announced i was pregnant, my boss gave me some of her old maternity clothes, including several tank tops with a more plunging neckline than i'm used to. i almost put them in the giveaway pile, since my brain was quick to categorize them as "clothes for people with boobs", but then i remembered that in a few months i would be one of those people!
today i put on one of the tank tops along with my new grown-up bra and proceeded to admire myself in the mirror for longer than i care to admit. but while brushing my teeth, i bent over the sink and got quite an eyeful. that was when it occurred to me that i am woefully inexperienced in the ways of cleavage. i'm a bit worried about flashing people, but more realistically i'm worried about dressing inappropriately and not knowing it. thankfully, pregnant women can get away with a lot in that department. but i'm still concerned about being one of those women that you see at the store and think, "wow, that shirt's working hard. did she even glance at herself in the mirror before she left the house like that?" because if today is any indication, yes. yes i did. probably several times. but when i looked in the mirror, i was standing up straight. not sitting, bending over, squatting or any number of other unflattering poses that i might find myself in throughout the day. i assume other women have learned to anticipate these things, but i've never had to.
so i told steve that it's now his responsibility to tell me if i look trashy and/or if i'm popping out of my shirt. he's the official Boob Wrangler. i get the peace of mind that someone's looking out for me and will be honest with me about my wardrobe choices and he gets a pass to stare at my rack. it's a win-win.
in all seriousness, i have never felt more beautiful or confident in my life. it's awesome. that doesn't mean it doesn't feel odd that my breasts rest on the top of my belly when i slouch. those parts of my body had never touched before and the first time it happened i was pretty weirded out. but that's a small price to pay for looking great in a sundress.
8 comments:
Oh, boobs.
That is to say, yay boobs!
The first line of this blog may be the best first line of any blog, ever. And so true.
You should go out and speed a lot now so you can get out of tickets!!
glad i could make you smile.
and you of all people would know the truth in that aphorism, having had boobs thrust upon you. not in the same way they were thrust upon me though. they were thrust upon you in a sarah-ish way.
if i keep saying 'boobs' and 'thrust' i'm gonna get some odd traffic on this blog.
Woman, you are hilarious. I concur: best first line of a blog ever. Here are some other things you can do:
1. Get free drinks (oh, well, nevermind);
2. Get a new job, depending upon the interviewer;
3. Applaud by jumping up and down;
4. Slouch on the sofa and sip your beverage through a straw without using your hands.
Yay boobs!
Also, not that I sit around thinking about your boobs, but yesterday it occurred to me that for someone newly boobed, the first experience of underboob sweat will be a landmark. Happy summer!
great. and it's supposed to get above 90 today.
I also applaud your boobs -- go boobs! Pregnancy is such a science experiment. I wish you as much joy as possible in your discoveries.
I came here via Electric Boogaloo because I love your handle: "Courgette Augergine" is terribly cute.
wow, my first comment from a stranger! thanks for the well-wishes!
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