i'm looking for a new job. to quote a Kids In the Hall sketch, "the only thing worse than having a job is looking for one." my only real criteria are that my new job must:
A) not suck
B) pay more than my current job
so far i've had no luck. but one of my co-workers was kind enough to send me the link for a position she thought i might be interested in:
Urine Sample Technician
Reply to: job-XXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Immediate part-time (20 hours per week) opening for a urine sample technician in an Outpatient Drug Treatment Program in PG Country. Ideal for student or retired individual. Responsible for observing collection of urine specimens, breathalyzer testing and proper maintenance of the chain of custody. $11/hour, requires 4-5 evenings per week availability. Fax or email resume to: 202-XXX-XXXX.
i'm really bad at cover letters. here's what i have so far. let me know what you think.
To Whom It May Concern,
I'm writing to express my interest in the Urine Sample Technician position that I saw listed on Craigslist. As a dedicated, responsible individual with a keen interest in urine, I think I would be perfect for this job. Collecting, analyzing and cataloging urine has been a hobby of mine for several years now. Moreover, I have over 27 years experience in making urine. If you choose to interview me in person, I would be more than happy to show you my excretory portfolio. Thank you for your consideration and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Courgette Aubergine
3 comments:
Oh my god, another comment. I just wanted to say that part of my job is collecting urine to test for STDs, so if you need a reference from someone who also has a lot of experience with pee, and a lot of enthusiasm for pee, let me know. I do think your 27 years in the pee business should get you an audition.
i think Enthusiasm For Pee should be the title of a potty training how-to video.
Sweet cover letter. You totally deserve an interview. My favorite phrase is "a keen interest in urine".
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